The First Run is the Deepest

And baby I know. Today I took my first run during treatment. It was only 1.2 miles, but that’s 1.2 miles more than I’ve ran since I got my diagnosis on August 18th. Now, in no means am I an avid runner, basically because I think I’m a 90 year old woman trapped in a 22 year old’s body and I just don’t think I was built for running (I’m 5’2″ on a good day and the only thing tall about me is my afternoon Starbucks order). Regardless, up until that hazy August day, I was running* 5k’s on the reg and torturing my mind, body and soul at hot yoga. I enjoy being active, but I’ve never been the type of person to be like “OMG I live to run it gives me such a high.” But after today, that could totally change. And to be honest, Elle Woods was right. “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.” Only the first part of that quote relates to me, but I had to include the whole thing because Reese Witherspoon killed it as a Harvard Law student. I mean she was the whole reason I aspired to be a bleach-blonde Harvard Law School graduate when I was in the fourth grade.

Back to what this post is about … I felt amazing after  I ran. Like, literally, a smile was on my face as I made it to my driveway, and it wasn’t just because I could finally eat lunch. Usually after a run I want to collapse in a field and cry a little bit, but this time I actually felt, well, happy (and I didn’t want to kill my non-existant husband). After nearly two months of feeling like a stranger in my own body, I feel like I have taken back some sort of control. I feel strong and amazed at what my body can do, despite sharing space with it’s fat neighbor Hodgkins.

I’m all about the good vibes these days and if I could feel this good after a little run, why not try and do it as often as possible when I’m feeling up to it? Maybe I could train for a half marathon or a triathlon or one of those tough mudders. Or I could just run until I feel like stopping and save the marathons for Netflix. Who knows. The possibilities are endless people.


Made my brother screenshot this lol

*SIDE STORY: I was at a doctor’s appointment and she asked me what I do for physical activity. I answered that I run 3 miles a couple times a week, feeling proud that I could say that. She said that was great and how long does it take me to run that distance. I said I run a 10 minute mile, fully knowing that I will never win a trophy that says “world’s fastest mile runner” or whatever. The doctor literally laughed out loud and said “so it’s more of a jog than a run.” Like SORRY lady didn’t know we were getting technical here. So yea if we’re getting technical now, I jogged today. Sue me. *END SIDE STORY*

One thought on “The First Run is the Deepest

  1. I would like to comment on the whole jogging vs. running debate. I don’t believe there should be a platform upon which that debate should even exist. I run 10.5 minute miles ON A GOOD DAY and JUST SAYING it still causes me to want to collapse in field and cry a little bit afterwards and TBH as long as you’re going fast enough to want to die a little bit then you’re doing it right and you are RUNNING. Hope that doctor sees this comment one day when this blog is famous. Ok I’m done now.



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