The world is your playground, as they say. You can do pretty much whatever you want (that’s legal), whenever you want (if you have the funds and the time). OK, so I guess there are some limitations, but you get what I mean. However, that playground is a very weird place. One minute you’re having the time of your life swinging from the monkey bars, and the next you’re face down in the mulch crying for your mom and cursing the monkey bars you were just so happy on. There are ups and downs, and sometimes it feels like we’re on the down side more than the up. The last year and a half of my life has pretty much been that monkey bar analogy. Something good happens, something bad happens, something great happens, something even worse happens. And while I want to scream and throw a fit and question why why why, I remember: The world does not owe me anything.
The world does not owe me anything because I can look at my life and think about all the bad things that have happened, but be able to still see all the wonderful. My dad passed away in the summer of 2015 and it was painful and I was deeply angry. At that point in my life, I thought the world owed me everything. Nothing bad should ever happen to me again, I thought. Clearly, that wasn’t the case. Fast forward to 2016, I was on the trip of a lifetime to South Africa and Tanzania. There in Tanzania, after a life had been taken from me six months earlier, I brought one into the world. I delivered a beautiful, healthy baby girl, who I think about almost as often as I think about my dad. How can the world owe me anything, when something so beautiful like that can happen?
The rest of my year was filled with greats: graduated college, passed my NCLEX, landed a job. And then it was filled with more bad: my diagnosis and the passing of my cousin. I’m not dwelling this time around though. I’ve already learned that it’s not going to get me anywhere. Instead of being angry, I choose to radiate positivity in everything I do. We cannot change the rules of the playground no matter how much we want to, but we can change how these rules affect us. Instead of asking why why why, I ask how. How will I use these experiences to help the lives of others. When you stop focusing on what you think you’re entitled to, you can move forward and begin to work on ways to make this big ass playground of ours a better place.
Sorry this was deep, but Tuesdays are for reflection. And my ear phones broke during my run today so I had a lot of time to think. Happy Tuesday peeps 🙂