WOW what a week it has been! So many firsts this week. And hopefully lasts. Usually the week I have between treatments is a calm one. I get to work, I get to go to yoga, I get to eat what I can still taste, I get to feel kinda normal. But that didn’t happen last week, obviously. Because once I get comfortable, life likes to throw a wrench at me to shake things up.
Last Tuesday night right before bed, I knew something was up. For some reason whenever I get a cold, I always feel it in my legs first. It’s like I have ESPN or something, my thighs can always tell when it’s going to rain (for all you Mean Girls fans). I noticed my thighs were aching and I started getting the chills. Uh-oh. I spent the night tossing and turning in a pool of sweat, checking my temperature every couple of hours. Knowing a trip to the ER was in my future, I hesitated waking my mom up so she could get some sleep because I am thoughtful. I hit 100.6 in the morning, which was the golden ticket to enter the
chocolate factory emergency room.
Emergency rooms are like really gross TBH so even though I was feeling better before we got there, I felt worse as I spent more time waiting for someone to tell me what was wrong. And to answer that question: nothing. Which is a mystery to me because all of a sudden I just tossed my cookies in the ER, and no one really seemed to be concerned about it. All my tests came back negative which was cool but I had to stay over night to get “monitored.” I could’ve done better monitoring at home but better be safe than sorry, I guess.
So I had my first hospital stay. 10/10 would not recommend. If I had to score everything- Nurses: 9 Bed: 2 Shower: 0 Socks: 7 TV: 4 Doctors: 6 (0 for hot factor, none were even cute 🙄) Food: -552. You guys are prob like “geez Katie this isn’t the Ritz give it a break.” And to that I say, omg you mean that nice man that wheeled me from the ER to my bed wasn’t the bell hop? I’m shocked!
My roommate snored like an obese man, but she was so sweet so I forgive her, we all have our sleeping flaws. Plus, I was conked out from some Benadryl, so I mostly felt bad for my mom. My poor mom made a bed out of two hospital chairs and used jackets as blankets. I like to think that her whole life prepared her for that moment. She can sleep anywhere on anything. She is the ultimate trooper.
We got to leave the next morning without any answers on why I even had to go there in the first place. But at that point I didn’t even care, I just wanted to go home and eat something that wasn’t some sad excuse for French toast and sausage and take a freakin shower. Before I left the doctor was like “you can stay for lunch if you’d like” and I was like haha I don’t know if you’re serious but I’d rather eat my shoe.
But the fun didn’t end there!! I had such bad back pain that it actually hurt to breathe and move. At first I thought it was from the hospital bed because it was certainly not a Sleepys certified mattress. It was from the Neupogen shot I got in the hospital to boost my white counts. To avoid the pain I crawled right into bed (after a freakin shower and two bites of toast) and stayed in the same position for the next 16 hours. The pain I guess meant it was working because my counts today are the best they’ve been since I started this little journey. Boom.
The following day, the clouds cleared and it was a brand spankin’ new day. I felt totally better, back pain was gone, I was me!!!!!
I spent the weekend appreciating not being in the hospital, hanging out with friends and visiting my grandparents. Last night, I had dinner with a school friend, Annie, and a new friend, Sara, who has helped me more than she knows. She’s the only person I know who gets my internal struggle with The Wig and all the other weird things that happen during chemo. I’ll be eating sour patch kids after chemo in honor of her today.
Even though I am not “healthy” by standard definition, I appreciate that I am well enough to not be an inpatient in the hospital. Staying in the hospital over night sucked; it was frustrating, it’s not comfortable, it’s hard to sleep with all the hustle and seriously there needs to be a better medical intake system because I had to explain my symptoms 15 different times to 15 different people. Don’t think I let that get in the way of having fun. As I was being wheeled to my room, we went down a ramp and I threw my hands up and said “WOO!!!!” Like I was on a rollercoaster. The nice bell hop man (I’m kidding) told me I made his day when I did that. I aim to brighten people’s days. Regardless, it was only one night at the hospital. And nothing was really even wrong with me. My roommate who snored had been there since atleast Christmas, judging by the decorations still hanging in her room. And that made me sad. It made me realize that although things aren’t great, they could be worse. Way worse.
Today is chemo number 9, I am 3/4 of the way done. Judy is here taking care of business. I feel good (for now). And I hope I never have to stay a night in the hospital ever again … until I’m working night shift.
*insert picture of me in the hospital here* (we didn’t take any cause that’s like kinda weird and I looked actually so hideous I’m glad the doctors weren’t cute)