I checked what happened on this day in history, and pretty much nothing of any significance has taken place on April 11th. Until today.
Today is the day my roommate moved out. For good. Today is the day where I get to start the rest of my life. Today is the day that I officially get to say “I kicked cancer’s ass.”
There hasn’t been anything in my life that I have felt more proud of, and that’s saying something considering I got through nursing school and once had tonsillitis and it was the worst thing ever. I got an echocardiogram after I heard the news and while looking at the image of my heart, the technologist said “don’t you just have so much more respect for your body when you can see what it can do.” And she was right. It’s something you don’t really ever think about until you have to. I am so in awe of what my body is capable of doing, and that not only did I fight, but I came out on top.
I felt phenomenal after I finished chemo, but there was a piece of me during these last six weeks of waiting that made me nervous. And scared. So those feelings didn’t fully allow me to appreciate the feeling of completion. But now that there are pictures to prove that my body kicked out this nasty disease, I can shine. I can feel secure in being happy. I can be comfortable celebrating. The feeling of knowing you don’t have cancer anymore is the feeling of having a weight lifted off your shoulders. There are no words, but more of a feeling. Feeling like smiling big. Feeling butterflies in your stomach because you’re so excited. Feeling lighter. And I plan to bask in all of its glory.
So what’s next? Follow up appointments every couple of months that include scans and blood work and doctor’s visits, but for the most part I can go back to living my life the way I intended to before this little bump in the road. I’m giving myself time to gain all of my strength back before starting at my nursing job, which is demanding on your body, but worth it in so many ways. So I’ll get to enjoy the summer at the beach while you guys are working at your desks 😜.
I’m going to work on staying positive because I can’t even tell you how much it helped me get through this. I’ve grown as a person during this time in more ways than one, but the biggest has definitely been my attitude. And I’ve noticed that when I have a bad attitude, I tend to feel worse. And ain’t nobody got time for feeling bad.
I wish I didn’t like my doctor and PA and nurses as much as I do because I’m really going to miss them. I’ll be going from a seeing them every two weeks to every three months, but that’s a good thing! And I just have to remind myself of that.
I saw my favorite nurse Judy on Friday when I went in for my scans and today after I left the doctor. She keeps the charm from the necklace I gave her on the same chain as two other charms from different survivors. That makes me feel close to her, as she is someone who made me felt comfortable through this whole ordeal. Big hugs were given and tears were shed, and no matter where I end up working, I will always go back to see Judy.
I’m excited to get this show on the road. The show being my life. Because I know that from here on out it’s only onwards and upwards. And it’s going to be a beautiful thing to watch unfold.
I celebrated the news by eating my first hot dog since September. My PA even told me to have one. Well, she told me not to have a dirty water dog, but I did anyway (oopsies). It was everything I could’ve ever wanted. And some of you may say hot dogs are bad for you but this info is not scientifically proven and sometimes being happy is just more important than paying attention to what’s in a hot dog.
A big thank you to every single person who has ever given me any thought throughout this whole thang. Couldn’t have done it without you all 😘.
YIPPIE YAHOO WOOHOO HIP HIP HOORAY BOOM BING BANG ZOOM WHOOSH WOOT WOOT!!!!! IM CANCER FREE!!!!!!!!!!!