The Fortieth Tuesday: We Talk About New Beginnings

Actually have no idea what Tuesday today is because I have been so inconsistent (sorry!) so I’m declaring today the fortieth because I said so.

Also, I’m going to try to be better and write more because I just renewed my WordPress subscription (it’s already been a year I’ve had this thing and I still don’t get it) and I want to get the most bang for my buck. Do people even still read this? Did I renew for no reason? Lol idk.

Because this isn’t a travel blog, I won’t go into depth about my trip to Italy. I will say that it was amazing. The people in Italy are friendly and fashionable and fabulous. However, they are not fat which confuses me because I think I gained five pounds while I was there. Tell me your secrets, Italians!!!! Maybe it’s just because I felt like it would just be wrong to not eat all the gelato, pasta, pizza and bread that I could get my little American hands on (which are still swollen, might I add). Italy is also filled with incredible amounts of history and art and beautiful scenery. Our first day in Rome we were just walking around to see what was up when the overwhelming and glorious smell of garlic pasta and the sounds of a cello hit me as we turned a corner and the freaking Pantheon came into view. My jaw dropped because I was like HOW IS A 2,000 YEAR OLD BUILDING JUST THERE?!?!? It was just tucked between regular apartment buildings and restaurants. Imagine being in NYC and walking past buildings that have been around that long on your commute to work. You can’t, because NY wasn’t even a thing when these buildings were built. But that’s how Italy is!!!! Every time I saw something, whether it was a piece of art or a church or a sandwich, I was in complete disbelief of how amazing it was. It’s a cool place. 10/10 would recommend.

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Eating gelato in front of a 2,000 year old building



Venice is something straight out of a postcard




Giant sandwiches in Florence


Tuesdays in Tuscany LOL!!


A lady I met in Rome
I can’t think of a better way to finish this chapter of my life. I was in a beautiful country celebrating what I had accomplished with people who were there with me through it all. My Aunt Pat, who when she heard the news said we were going to Paris when this was all over. Italy was just fine. She came with us to so many appointments and sat through rush hour traffic and long chemo appointments. My Uncle John, who gets recognition for being a great tour guide and for just being Uncle John. And my mom. My mom who has been me and my brother’s rock. Who is strong and supportive and funny and loving. Who slept in the same bed as me when I thought I had a blood clot (it was just a leg cramp). Who slept on two wooden chairs and used jackets as a blanket the night I had to stay over in the hospital. Who shaved my head and then rubbed it every night because we thought maybe it would help my hair grow back (I think it worked). My mom, who deserved this trip probably more than me because she’s a BOSS, and I owe her for everything. It was a great experience to share, especially before I start the next chapter of my life.



Yesterday, I started my first day as a registered nurse!!!!!!! 🙂

The title of this post is inspired by the orientation meeting I had today which was called New Beginnings lol. Kinda lame but actually like so appropriate for my life right now.

I can’t help but think about how my life has come completely full circle. In almost exactly 365 days, I went from a cancer patient to a working nurse. No really, I started chemo September 20, 2016. So like 363 days apart. Weird.

In orientation, we go over a lot of the basics and boring stuff. We talk about what our values and what the hospital stands for and how to incorporate it into our practice. Things that are pretty generic and usually make your eyes glaze over, but they are things that I’ve experienced nurses do for me as a patient.

The chief of nursing actually used an example of something along the lines of “how do we ensure that a patient starts their chemo before it gets dark out?” And I was literally like, omg there was a time where we waited like five hours for chemo, I’ve been there, I’ve been that patient. And after listening, I quickly realize how different my perspective is now that I have been a patient.

It’s like I have a sixth sense. I can read the patient’s mind because I’ve laid in that bed. I’ve been poked and prodded and talked about like I wasn’t in the room and have cried and laughed and have been angry and anxious and so has my family. I won’t know everything they are feeling because everyone is different and my brain is just not capable of knowing all that information, but I will have some idea.

Being psychic is cool and all, but it’s not something I wished upon myself. It’s something that I have acquired and that I can use to my advantage, but I know it’s also a double edge sword. I’ve always been empathetic. I have the ability to put myself in someone’s shoes and get an idea of how they are feeling. But now, it’s a whole other level of empathy. It’s not putting myself in their shoes, it’s putting on my old shoes from the time something happened to me. Wearing the orange flip flops the day I got my bad news. Putting on my Uggs the day I spiked a fever and had to stay over night at the hospital. Putting on my sneakers the last day of chemo. I will relive my moments and try to help my patients get through theirs.

I’m not working with cancer patients, and that’s a choice I made. Sure, I would really know what’s up with them, but just because I had cancer doesn’t mean I need to work with cancer patients right now. Truth is, I’ve wanted to be an ICU nurse since college and that goal has not changed. The floor I’m on, which is a cardiac surgery floor, is exactly what I was looking for. I’ll learn a lot and I’ll get to grow and gain experience there, and hopefully it’ll lead me into an ICU career. Or maybe it won’t. Nursing is so fluid and there’s about a billion different things you can do. I could hate it! Who knows. But that’s the goal right now. There’s a part of me that thinks that maybe someday down the line I’ll do something with oncology, but right now I would like to learn something different and give myself a little break from that world.

As I’ve said before, I’m moving up, and in October, I’m moving out!!!!!

Life is finally, finally, happening and I couldn’t be more grateful and excited about all the opportunities I am being given. It’s a beautiful and weird thing that so much can change in the matter of a year. How fast it can go. And how much of an impact your attitude can have on the outcome. I’ve learned more in a year than some people will in a life time and upsettingly, juggling was not something I learned. I just can’t get it down no matter how many YouTube videos I watch, please help!!!!!

I’m excited and nervous and all the emotions in between about what’s to come. But if I can get through what life has thrown at me so far, I think everything will be ok.

Tuesdays are back!!!!!!!!!!

One thought on “The Fortieth Tuesday: We Talk About New Beginnings

  1. “I will relive my moments and try to help the patients get through theirs.” Yes. (If this were your article and I was doing Google doc review boxes that’s what I would write. Along with a heart or two. Oh, and nice shoe metaphor. You must have read To Kill a Mockingbird.)
    Godspeed as your start your new chapter! And keep writing. . .
    xoxo, Ms. D


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